Do not pass go - do not collect $200.

Dear friends,

I have failed.  I apologize.  It breaks my heart to have to confess this to you tonight (or this morning, or whenever you happen to read this).

If you have not yet read my previous post on "Non-Buyer's Remorse" please do so now.  I will wait.  

Done?  Got it?  Good.  Continue.

Not 24 hours after writing that post I regret to inform you all that I, once again, refused to listen to those little voices telling me "do not buy this."  After bragging to you that I was making vast improvements in my ability to decipher the meaning of these buyer's agents I got lost in translation.

Pride cometh before the fall.

Today I had several items to return at the mall (not so much as buyer's remorse, rather a change of plans - definitely not the same thing) when I remembered that I had a gift card to Aldo burning a hole in my pocket.  Coincidentally... I had about 20 minutes to kill - PERFECT COMBINATION.  After strolling into the store and making a first pass over the shelves I narrowed in on several pairs that looked cute but not too crazy (you have to be careful in there).  The sales girl assured me that she would be more than happy to assist me in creating a veritable "shoe party" (her words, not mine) in hopes of finding the perfect pair.  After quickly nixing about 5 pairs of sandals that made my feet look really awkward (and they felt about that awkward, too) I worked it down to about 3 pairs.  Easy.  

first pair: didn't have my size in the color I would prefer - instant gratification, anyone?  Scratch numero uno off the list!

second pair: grey, low-heeled, open-toed strappy-but-not gladiator- sandals fit beautifully into my standard color palate of choice though not necessarily my style.  Considering.

third pair: super cute coral high heels - peep-toe, ankle strap much more my style... not so much my color.  Also important to know - I intended on purchasing a sandal, not this cute heel.

After several rounds of on-off-on-off-on-off I decide that I will be daring and get the coral heels.  My style - why couldn't I try a new color?!  Done!  maybe... nope, really!  Done!  Purchased!  

Ah!  Potential outfits are flooding my imagination!  Oooooh - so cute!  Except... wow, those are bright shoes in my imagination.  wow.  A little, um... distracting?  huh.  ok...  I can work around that... right?

Ok, at home.  Put on new shoes.  try a couple dresses and skirts...  wow.  maybe I need more self-tanner to make these work.  hmm.  

crap.

Sad sigh, but I'd rather suck it up and return the shoes then wait for something I really like that I will really wear.  Heavy heart.  Sad smile/frown.  Realization that buyer's remorse had hit and had hit hard.  alas, my friends... my regret is practically crippling.  Well, kind of.  Regardless, I extend my apologies and ask for your forgiveness.  I will continue to try to rise above this.

Sincerely,

A remorseful buyer

PS- the indecision over the shoes trickled into my choices of nail color.  2 full attempts (meaning fingers and toes) and a couple of sample toes later... I'm still polish-less.  

Non-Buyer's Remorse

We have all (at least I hope we all have... that's what I tell myself to make it ok) made those impulse purchases that we have later regretted.  A little buyer's remorse.  Occasionally we fret over making a purchase and after much debate we hand over the cash and later wonder why we didn't trust the part of our gut telling us to pass.

Yes, buyer's remorse.  The conversation in my head usually goes something like this:

"yeah, this was a good idea.  It's cute.  It probably needs a belt or a long necklace."

"I'm never going to wear this."

"I WILL wear it.  I WILL."

"Good thing it was on sale... it may never leave the closet."

"Good thing it was on sale... I love a great deal."

I try to pay closer attention to these little voices before I pull the credit card out of the wallet.  I have gotten better at this.  One day I hope to conquer this dreaded shopping side effect.

Almost even more annoying than a case of buyer's remorse is the dreaded NON-buyer's remorse.  Those moments when you misunderstand the voices telling you to "buy" or "don't buy" and leave that item on the shelf.  Naturally, the second you get home (if not before) your heart gets heavy, your breathing is labored and your ability to focus on anything else vanishes.  

YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO GET THAT ITEM.  IT BELONGS TO YOU (it should, right after you pay for it).  IT IS SITTING ON THE SHELF CRYING... WONDERING WHY YOU LEFT IT LIKE A NAUGHTY CHILD IN THE GROCERY STORE (I'm not condoning this action.  But the thought has crossed your mind, right?).  BUT YOU CAN'T GO BACK AND GET IT... NOPE.  SOMEONE ELSE HAS PICKED IT UP AND TAKEN IT TO CHILD SERVICES (the cash register) AND REPORTED YOU AS AN UNFIT PARENT (successfully purchased it and left the store).

There are many reasons why you may have passed up this item.  Perhaps you were pressed for time and the line to check out was far too long (and that woman already holding a bag from that store will inevitably have a complicated return), or the price tag seemed a bit too steep and you are trying to stay on budget this month.  Maybe you were on the phone with a friend and got distracted.  Whatever the reason, shame on you.  It hurts, doesn't it?

Today I am having the very subtle pangs of what may be a case of non-buyer's remorse.  It's over the silliest thing, really.  Yesterday I got my hair cut at a salon that has recently started to carry the product line from BLOW: nyc blow dry bar.  They specialize in the art of the blow dry.  Um... Can I go??  Please??  Regardless, the product line is lovely.  As usual, the salon experience ended with my stylist walking me to the desk and reviewing the handful of products she put in my hair, two of which are from the aforementioned product line.  I convinced myself that I didn't need to spend a collective $43. on what is probably 7floz of product that I have lived without thus far.  

 

Sigh.  Today, part of me wishes that I had purchased these uber trendy products and part of me is happy that those $43. are still in my wallet to spend on some other unnecessary thing.  I wonder what it may be - oh, the suspense!!  Wow - this almost feels like Christmas!

Early Retirement

I often wonder where it all fits.  Pick up any magazine and it will undoubtedly encourage you to make it's contents your number one priority.  

Fitness Magazine:  Exercise, Exercise, Eat Right and Exercise!

Elle: Be fashionable!  Spend money on TRENDS!

Martha Stewart Living: Bake for the masses!  Iron your bed sheets and tie sachets of dried lavender (from your own garden, of course) with ribbon made from silk you've collected from your garden of silk worms!

Gourmet: Buy the most exotic food regardless of price and prepare it as though it is from the finest french restaurant but never gain a pound (or accidentally burn it)!!

One of my favorite "let-us-tell-you-how-to-have-the-most-successful-and-rewarding- life-ever" mags is Real Simple.  Typically filled with practical household tips and tricks and the more practical "livin'-in-the-burbs" fashion trends, I find that it has a nice warm spot in my "Susie-homemaker-wannabe-life."

However, lately I have often wondered what it is that I am supposed to sacrifice in order to succeed elsewhere.  I find that I can do everything ok - but nothing great.  But what gives?  Do I give up my rare but much treasured trips to the gym?  Do I forego the household chores until it's unlivable?  Do I give up trying to maintain any sense of style?  Do I give up hygiene?!  Do I give up grocery shopping (this one I could be ok with - but the result of not eating is less than desirable)?  Do I give up reading (which seems to have happened)?  

Which of these "THIS MUST BE YOUR NUMBER ONE PRIORITY" priorities can I sacrifice?  

While reading the latest issue of Real Simple I have found that the Life Lessons story, "Can I Call You Back in Fifteen Years?" is a reflection of my life (and I don't have kids or dogs or other needy dependents)!  But I understand the overwhelming list of to-do's that pushes the people in our lives to the bottom of the totem pole.

Making time for my friends has always been a priority in my life.  It is probably the time that I feel is the most fulfilling.  Social Interaction.  But where does that fit in amongst the vacuuming, the shopping, the laundry, the job, the family, the rest of my life?  

Truly, this post is not a complaint - it is a question.  I adore taking care of my home and in no way resent the fact that I feel the compulsive need to vacuum my living room at least twice a week.  I enjoy ironing and spending time with family.  I don't mind running errands (but why are there always so many?!?!).  Really, I just want to know who has it all figured out that they can maintain their lives, their careers, their homes, their faith, their fashion and their friends while never being late with a bill payment.

As a Sunday evening winds down I am sitting on my couch taking some "me-time" to read a magazine, write this post and prepare to spend another week trying to figure out how to best organize my time - I say to you...  

Here's to the American Dream!

Poor slob without a name!

No one makes getting caught in the rain look as classy as Audrey.

Granted, the rain during the emotionally tumultuous ending of "Breakfast at Tiffany's" is a bit expected (really, aren't there ALWAYS thunderstorms in scary movies and in a chick flick -soft summer showers that catch a couple out on a beach just as they are realizing they may be in love - so too does our leading lady get stuck in a pelting downpour as she allows herself to feel something for not only her leading man, but also her cat).  I think we can all admit that rain gets over played.  

Despite the obvious artistic choices, I would love to look like Audrey while being caught in the rain.

(don't worry, more tea shop plans* to come - this is just a side note.  *see previous post)

I love wild thunderstorms that come out of nowhere and turn the sky so dark it makes the spring green leaves on the trees look electric.  Today, two such storms paid me a visit.  Which would not have been a problem had I not had a dinner party to get to.  Compounding the issue happens to be the fact that on my way home to pick up my husband for said dinner party, I had to swing by the pharmacy to pick up some pain killers for the hubs (threw out his neck - anyone else ever feel too old for their age?!?).  Again, this would not have been an issue except for the arrival of these storms.  

The first storm knocked out the power and therefore the pharmacy could not fill the prescription.  Very kindly, they sent their business elsewhere and I crossed the parking lot to Target to make a second attempt at getting the pain killers.  While waiting for the order to be filled I noticed a rather loud sound coming from the metal roof... another storm!  I am now 15 minutes behind schedule, still without pills or my husband and now I must go through the storm to my car.

Now 20 minutes behind schedule and soaking wet, I am finally able to deliver the medication to my ailing husband.  I run (it was more like a dejected saunter) upstairs to change into who knows what (I had intended on just wearing the blue and grey jersey wrap dress from work to the dinner party - but not so much anymore). 

Let's just say that my version of being caught in the rain landed me with frizzy hair, raccoon eyes and cold feet.  

Despite the unfortunate effects of being caught in the rain - 2 wild thunderstorms in one afternoon made my day.  I'll try a little harder for the Audrey look next time.

One lump or two?

I need a place!  I need a place to go to sit and chat with friends and snack a little snack and sip a little tea!  

I love me some Starbucks as much as the next caffeine addicted, trendy drink loving, always on the go girl - but what about those wonderful rare occasions when you can actually take an hour or so and enjoy that latte?  Even better - when you can enjoy your latte in a legit cup (not made of 10% post consumer recycled paper) while chatting with a friend?

This is my dilemma now.  In my current home town I have yet to find a cute little coffee shop / cafe that does not include a drive through, makes you wonder if the place is ever cleaned or requires you to enter through a cloud of smoke from the hippies puffing something outside the front door (nothing against the hippies - just the smoke.  for some reason the crowds of people who gather to smoke outside of coffee shop doors tend to dress in hemp-made clothing, wear birkenstocks and need a haircut).

This has inspired me to want to design and open my own place.  And then I want to sit there all day and welcome friends for a chat, a cup of tea and enjoy the social cup of happiness!

More to come as these designs take shape... I'm not kidding - this place needs to exist.